I JUST DON’T KNOW

I feel in limbo at the moment. Like i just don’t know. I went through something this morning that really tore at my soul. I have messed up almost my entire life and now that i have found me, the me that’s been lerkin’ behind every corner, scared,hiding, sitting in the corner of the closet, always afraid to come out, has emerged, stretched out from being crouched down for for too long, walking around stretching my legs, bending my arms, my back, touching my toes and finally standing up. ME, yeah standing up, my knees hurt but DAMN it feels sooooo good to finally stand, to stand up, up tall. I am now tall enough to look into the mirror, not afraid, ME the little girl who lost EVERYTHING at the age of seven, me, me ,me. Not only can I stand , I can speak, I have a voice….Mama, can you hear me????? I finally found something that I am passionate about. My post, that’s ALL ME. The segments that I’m doing about my life, that’s me too …..but the way I choose to write it is just that…… ” The way I choose to write it!”…. I want to talk about how parents MUST be mindful of what they say and don’t say to their children, how they say it & what they do around them etc….. Kids are WE in adult suits,….. you can be the CEO of a Fortune 500 Company, but inside that kid that didn’t get those necessary hugs, kisses and attention from their mother because she was busy trying to heal herself mentally and physically from the beatings your father was giving her, still yearns for the love of a mother, still yearns for those hugs and those…” Baby I’m so proud of you’s”……..yearning for it like a dope fiend yearns for their next fix.

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