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The Price

STUCK in the head
not crazy
never sane

SICK in my head
it’s my crutch
it’s my bane

LIVE in my head
try it just for a day
if you don’t go deaf
well, you know what they say
It has cost me so much
but still I must pay

SICK in my head
god please take me today

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Did you ever wonder if life was about more than just the hours between life and death?
Did you ever wonder if life was about more than just the happy moments?
Maybe it is about the time in between, the not so happy moments.
Perhaps they are what matter, what makes us who we are.
The times that shape us, mold us.
They say that we are the sum of all our parts, our experiences.
Both good and bad, but maybe the good is not so important, maybe they are just there to keep us going with fruitless hope.
Hope that keeps us from jabbing ourselves in the throat with the closest thing at hand. Hope that keeps us hanging on so that we can go on to suffer for one more day.

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Flow

our love is like a stream
it ebbs and flows
it dips and grows
and tests our strength of seam

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The past is nothing more than a sum of lessons we all must learn. Like school. We learn from our mistakes (ideally) and take what we have learned and move on. This should be our ultimate goal. Why hold onto the past and let it torment us?

If I were an amnesiac and remembered nothing of the events of my past would I not still be the same person? Of course I would because even if I don’t remember the past it still made me who I am today. Why bother having to know every little event? Does finding out who you are and what you have done change you into a different person? No, of course not. We are who we are. Just because you do not remember life before now does not make you a nobody. You are you, memories or no memories.

Yes it would be nice to know if you have family, a wife, husband or child but beyond that does knowing all the little events in you life benefit you in any way? I don’t think so. Most will probably only bring you pain. You have already learned those lessons whether you remember them or not (or have you?), why rehash past painful memories? None of that changes who you are.

People often feel lost when they lose their memories, they feel as if they are no longer anyone, like they don’t exist. This is a sad and frankly untrue way of thinking. You don’t need a past to be someone, all you need is to be you. Follow your heart and you are someone. What is in a name really? Nothing. And blood ties? It seems as though in this day in age most people would be better off without those anyways.

Blood should not be so stressed upon. Why should you have to put up with peoples really bad treatment of you just because you share bloodlines? If you really think about it, it’s quite ridiculous. You wouldn’t put up with any of that from any one else. I’m not saying to cut off family or anything so drastic, just keep things in perspective. If things get really bad you should not have to put up with it simply because you’re family.

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Pitter Patter

all of this natter and chatter and splatter
you’re still running through me all pitter and patter
how do I get through this dark void
all alone
when you’re heavens away and I still
hear your moan
I cannot imagine life without you
for our love always was
so pure and so true

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If you haven’t heard the name Tricia Helfer then you are living under a really yucky rock. The thing about her is that well, she rocks.

One of my all time favorite shows EVER is Battlestar Galactica, the new generation I mean, and if she wasn’t in it I don’t think it would be the same at all. I love Six and I am so glad that she is getting so much more air time this season. If you haven’t been watching Battlestar then you better hurry up because it’s the last season. Try to find some reruns or better yet go buy the DVD set, you’ll be glad you did. But you better start with Battlestar Galactica Season 1 (HD).

The show is filled with amazing actors like Edward James Almos, Mary McDonnell, Jamie Bamber (so hot), James Callis (who by the way should win like every award ever offered to an actor for his portrayal of Gaius Baltar) and one of my personal favorites soon to be in the new Joss Whedon Dollhouse TV show Tahmoh Penikett. The show is considered Sci-fi but it isn’t like any other Sci-fi show out there it is so much deeper than that.

But my main point is Tricia Helfter rocks and I can’t wait to see more of her. I just heard she has a year contract with Fox once Battlestar Galactica is over so here’s hoping her show is awesome. I wonder what network Dolhouse would be on, she would be awesome in that.

It’ll be sad to see Battlestar end, let’s just hope they do it right, though I have herd rumours of some movies to come after the show ends, Tricia better be in them! You hear me writers??

I have to end by saying that Tricia Helfer is so much more than a pretty face, she is a wicked actress.

Technorati Tags: Tricia Helfter, Battlestar Galactica

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I had a profound thought this evening and it is one I think everyone should think about.

I realized that I don’t owe anyone anything. Nothing at all

And I am not talking about money or stuff, I mean life-wise

My life is my own.

I can take it as far as I want and leave the rest behind

My life is mine and I don’t owe any of it to anyone other than me

If you think about it

You don’t owe anyone anything

Either

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Ha! That is what I say to all the poeple who thought I was stupid because I was bitching about daylight savings time. Turns out DST kills people. Yes you read me right, it K-I-L-L-S people. Ha!Read it and weep baby!

HERE is the CNN news report on daylight savings time and how it kills dozens of people each year.

Ha!

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I have a dirty little secret and that is that I love, yes love Hedley and Jacob Hoggard. Sure, he is a total nut job but that is what makes him so friggin’ cool!

If you don’t know who they are you better get up to speed. Jacob Hoggard was a contestant on Canadian Idol some years ago now, he was the best they ever had on there and after seeing him on it I could never watch it again. It was just so boring without him, he was hilarious and talented, the whole TV package.

But anyways he is now the of Hedley and they are doing really well, yay! A good Canadian band they are actually going to be touring with Bon Jovi in the coming months. I hate Bon Jovi. But atht is another story. Unless he is going to sing some Blaze of Glory songs then screw the BJ—or maybe I should say blow him, get it BJ?

Anyways, I have seen Hedley live one time only and they were amazing and wacky, It was on a New Year’s Eve and they sounded just as good in person as on the album which is not something you hear every day.

Jacob Hoggard and Hedley just came out with their second album the other day called Famous Last Words and I have to say it is just as good if not better than the first one. The first one was great, I loved almost all the songs on it, but this one is a little more grown up without losing that Hedley feel that makes them so unique. I have to hand it to the guys for keeping it real.

I remember the first song they ever released, at least it was the firs tone I heard, it was On My Own and I was a little disappointed, after seeing him perform on Canadian Idol, I thought it would be better than it was. But I got the album anyways and the other songs were wayyyyy better, though in all fairness Hedley On My Own did grow on me as well.

This new one is so cool, I love Hand Grenade, Old School and For The Nights I Can’t Remember the most I think. But it is so hard to say!

If you get the chance you should check out Jacob Hoggard and the rest of the band online. You can see some of their crazy antics too. Insane!

Technorati Tags: Jacob Hoggard, Canadian Idol, Hedley

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For the first time in my life I got a taste of what the real cat and mouse game is all about. I have a cat named Spike and she actually caught a mouse…okay it was a rat…but it was a really really cute rat. A baby probably.

There I was minding my own business working at my computer when all of a sudden there was a commotion behind me. Before I could turn around I saw Milly come running by after a dark colored blur. The poor little mouse/rat tried to hide behind my desk but Milly is still pretty small and is obviously up on all the cat and mouse game tricks of the trade.

The next thing I knew she was leaving the room with her head held high. High because she had the poor little mousy in her mouth! Needless to say I screamed. Not because there was a rat in the house but because my cat was going to kill it.

Now I am not saying I want to have mice or rats, obviously that is gross and I didn’t know I had them and now that I do I certainly plan to kill them. But there is a difference between passively poisoning them and having them die out of my site and having it shrieking as the cat carries it up the stairs. Ew! I am an animal lover so I could not let the cat torture and kill the poor little thing. After all it’s not it’s fault it was born one of the most hated creatures in all the world.

So I did what I think any good person would do and started screaming and running after the cat. The mouse got quiet as they went up the stairs and I thought maybe it was dead but I quickly saw this wasn’t the case as I got to one of the upstairs bedrooms. The poor little thing was still alive and the cat was beating it about the head. It was terrible! So I screamed again and the cat ran and hid—they hate loud noises. Turns out the mouse did too and it hid as well. I had a bitch of a time getting it out from under the bottom desk drawer.

I had to put a shirt over my hand because I didn’t know if it has some disease or not, you hear such horror stories. As I was feeling around I couldn’t tell what I was groping, every time I thought I had it, it turned out it was another piece of garbage! How much crap can fit under one drawer on the floor??

Anyways I finally got the poor thing to run out to the wall behind the desk where I could get it better. There is an old broom laying on the floor back there and the little baby rat was just laying on the long handle panting. It was drooping off almost passing out, it was so sad!

Anyways to make a long story a little less long, at the end of the cat and mouse game I prevailed, me and the little rat/mouse. I got it and put it in a little fish tank thingy and took a good long look at it. My kid named “her” Scarlett for the scar she will have now by her eye where the cat tried to gouge it out.

She had some superficial wounds on her back, I guess from the teeth but in the end we let her go in the forest, far far away from out home. I like to think she will be okay, poor little baby. She was awfully cute for a rat.

I hope I never have to experience firsthand the cat and mouse game that exists out there. Too sad!

Technorati Tags: cat and mouse game

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